Before I found God, my joy was tied to particular achievements and when I did experience joy, I knew it would be temporary. When life had been relatively good for a long period (without any major unpleasantness or misfortune), a fear surfaced within me that something would soon go wrong. Major challenges in my personal life didn’t make me stronger, but rather wore me out. Whilst other people admired my ability to cope with difficulties, it seemed to me as if the next big challenge would ‘do me in.’ I was extremely successful, but the temporary joys of my accomplishments did not give me any security. My life seemed too hard to live.
At this time I gave my life to God and allowed Him to work in me. Joy became my permanent companion. My life became secure. “I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13); “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31b)
Working with God
Working with God, no matter where, is just pure joy. My current position as Vice-Rector of Scientific Affairs at the Estonian Business School (EBS), is one that I accepted by God’s direction. I prayed that He would be with me in this position. Later, having grown in faith, I was able to pray differently: ‘God, let it be You working through me, in this position.’ Thus began God’s amazing leadership!
I had about two years’ breathing space to do my academic work and my research publications grew quickly. The time for our doctoral programme to be accredited arrived. Due to a hostile environment, our chances for success were small. In general, the state’s attitude towards private education was antagonistic. The idea of a doctoral programme in a private university was practically out of the question. Representatives of the competing public universities made sure that this attitude persisted. Our doctoral degree candidates told us how the Dean of economics at one university publicly stated that EBS would not get its doctoral programme accredited under any circumstances. One senior official told an EBS doctoral student working in the educational system, that there was no reason to defend his dissertation, because the accreditation wouldn’t be granted. A nominee for the position of Provost at another public university even suggested eliminating EBS’s permission to offer studies at Master’s level!
In the meantime a new law was adopted, whereby no school without a doctoral programme could be considered as a university. Other private universities failed in their attempts to gain accreditation for their doctoral programmes. Such schools would disappear from the educational landscape, having their programmes taken over by public universities. Therefore gaining accreditation for the doctoral programme was a matter of survival for EBS.
Writing a Self-assessment
Writing a self-assessment was a path full of obstacles. Nobody wanted to be involved. It was considered the Vice-Rector’s personal responsibility and didn’t concern others. One senior faculty member said this repeatedly at a research meeting, attempting to hold back the few who were willing to do something. Everyone with whom I spoke felt that it wasn’t their concern. For example, one Vice-Rector said that he intended to straighten out the documentation regarding Bachelor’s and Master’s programmes, but not the doctoral programme. This situation lasted for six months.
With the deadline for presenting the report only 10 days away, a crisis erupted: the report was deemed unsuitable! ‘A report like this guarantees that the accreditation will fail!’ So read an email to us all from our university’s representative to the state’s higher education committee on evaluation. Now crisis management began! Fortunately I was rather well prepared for this theoretically. In the beginning of 2007, it became clear to me as an economic expert that an economic downturn was approaching. I had read through the literature about crisis management and had developed a crisis management model. My students and I gathered data about crisis management from business and we put together a book about crisis management in theory and practice. Now I had the chance to apply this to real life. At the same time I asked my closest friends to pray about this process and for a positive outcome for the accreditation.
The official deadline was two months away at that point. I called for a meeting that same day. Everyone was still intractable, in a bad mood and kept pointing to the one person whom the university had assigned to write the report. However, he needed help from us all! I saw that my role in the given situation was to be a peacemaker and to reconcile people. We worked together for days on end and at the initiative of the report writer we discussed the conception of EBS’s doctoral programme. In connection with these discussions, we modified the admissions criteria and the mission of EBS’s research. As a result we rewrote all the course descriptions and prepared a new learning strategy. A legal colleague offered help in assembling the documents. The result was order and clarity! Our suggestion to change EBS’s mission was declined, but this proposal points to the range of the work we did.
During the entire time I felt more of a mediator than a leader. Events took place and I let them happen. Meetings were arranged and people found to do the written work. God was the one who led this process, used various people to work out our existing bottlenecks and equipped us with both knowledge and people to eliminate our shortcomings. “My grace is sufficient for you.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
This process turned us into a team who worked well together. People recognized as stars in their own field became team players. With God, nothing is impossible!
The Visit of the Expert Commission
The day the expert commission visited EBS reminded me of a previous experience: the most delightful and memorable days are those when you can sense God is with you. I had experienced this six months earlier when I had an operation on my eyelid, using only local anaesthesia. Injections in the eyelid, a burning sensation and sutures are not the most pleasant things to put up with! On my way to the hospital I had been caught in a heavy downpour and had to wait one and a half hours in wet clothes before my operation. Whilst waiting, I called two close friends asking them to pray for me. As a result, I had total peace during the entire operation and afterwards.
A similar thing happened when the expert commission visited us. My previous experience with accreditations had been different. The prior failed accreditation of the doctoral programme had taken place in an unpleasant atmosphere. This time however, everything was pleasant from the beginning; someone even told a joke! The commission’s visit lasted from 9 am until 5 pm. After lunch I realized that the previous months’ stress had vanished. I felt surprisingly good! All day I had sensed God’s presence and could see how He had guided, right down to the last detail.
The same expert commission had been at another university in previous days, but their results had not yet been revealed. However, we were called back into the Senate Room after 5 pm and told that the outcome was positive. Next day the commission wrote its assessment and after lunch, one of the commission members sent us an email:
It is one of life’s pleasures to travel the world and meet such people as you and your team at EBS. Your enthusiasm for education and fulfilling the mission of EBS is infectious! I wish you well with your endeavours and thank you for your excellent hospitality.
The following Monday, the commission’s official letter arrived. They recommended full accreditation for EBS’s doctoral programme! In their report there wasn’t a single correction required of us and next to each required criteria (a list which was several pages long) was a notation: ‘fulfilled.’
‘I have never seen such a clean, mark-free review,’ remarked one academic, familiar with all Estonian evaluation reports.
That’s how God works when we call on His name. Those calling upon God were numerous: praying people from Scripture Union and St. John’s congregation in Tallinn. God hears our prayer! “Knock and the door will be opened to you.” (Luke 11:9)
God brought answers to our prayers through various people, who pointed out our weak spots and mobilised the entire group to overcome obstacles … until the doctoral programme was set firmly on the rock and became hardy enough to weather every storm. Hallelujah!
To conclude: life, with God, no longer feels too difficult. Rather, it’s the opposite. I look forward to each new day with excitement. What has God prepared for me? ‘Show me, Lord!’
May you all also walk with God!
